I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
