Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
