laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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