Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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