ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
