the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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