"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
