This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
