hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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