don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
