No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
