My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Ladies don't puke and tell
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
