ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize