I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
