So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
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