i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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