I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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