I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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