READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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