The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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