What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
