someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
