do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
