Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
