dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
