I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We are two peas in an std pod
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
