apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
