Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Randomize
