hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
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