You just made me feel so damn special
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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