this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize