Whatcha textin bout Willis?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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