Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
