my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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