the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
