I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
