butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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