I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
