Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
