3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
