are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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