He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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