DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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