alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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