Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I can't turn off my feet"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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