I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
