Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
