Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
this will be a night to untag.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
