Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
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