I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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