we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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