I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
