I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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