Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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