everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
