Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
