i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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