and you said cock pushups were impossible
We need to rekindle our bromance
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
