shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
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