ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
