Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
