4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
