I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
